Sambungan ya..
My office was abuzz with my latest transformation and many actually happy tengok my change as it was a signal that I was moving on with my life and putting my past behind. My Apek Boss also menitahkan rakyat jelata not to ask about my hubby passing, fearing that it will triggered my memory as he is happy that I am back as normal, chatting away, screaming, scolding and laughing loudly in the office. But not are all happy, we cant please eveyone can we? Some of the makcik bertudung said that since I tak habis edah, I should not be flaunting away with new clothes, makeup and whatknots. Wei, suka hatilah... it's my life - I cant be telling people how I feel, and who knows that my heart is screaming away? Well, I couldnt be bothered anyway.
Then comes December, and with the landslide situation, I stayed with a friend until early January as it is difficult to come in and out from the housing estate. Noon of 24th Dec, I received a bouquet of roses, with message " Sorry for your loss, I am still here, if you need me. En MHM Tel No: 03-27xxxxx". I really felt dizzy for awhile and lost for words, sat staring at the card with disbelief. It took me about 1 hour to have the courage to call him, but he wasnt there so I asked for his email address and wrote him an email thanking for the flowers and gave my cell phone no. Evening come, still no call, I dah gelabar nie.. camne? So I took the courage and call him, yes, he pick up the phone.
En MHM: Hello, XXXX, Processing.
I: Hi, I nie.
En MHM : Yeah, I tau, I still can recognize your voice, although tak dengar dah berkurun. He laughed. Are you Ok? Heard about the news. Sorry to hear about him.
I : Am doing well, tapi camne you tau about me? and we are neighbours tau. I know you keja sebelah tapi since dah 2 kali tukar name dont know whether you still here. Nak gak contact, tapi segan lah.
En MHM: I ada nampak you kat building you tapi pun I segan nak tegur, manalah tau, kot orang tak sudi. (eh, jiwang plak!) News travel lah, I met some old friends in Oct and entah camne cita pasal you timbul, it took me about a month lebih to take the courage to send you the flowers.
I: Thank you lah, tak sangka you ingat kat I. (tapi kembanglah hati akak!)
and so we chatted about 1 hour or so. He will be leaving for Bali for holiday on Christmas day until new year (his birthday in 1st Jan, by the way). We exchanged numbers and said our goodbyes. 2009 came, we are in constant contact through SMS and phone. He never fail to call me once a day, tapi both of us not ready to see each other. Tak tau camne nak react. He is my very first serious boyfriend since I was 16 years old and we parted when I was 19. I want to meet other fishes in the pond whilst he was seriously gila to tie the knot with me, tapi am not ready. Baru kerja, baru tengok dunia, nak gi disco dll perasaan lah. It took him about 3 years to recover from that frustration, decided that no girlfriend lagi and concentrate on football (at that time, he was in the Tiger Squad - under 23 boys groomed to be national footballers). To him, I was his chenta hati pertama and terakhir, and no one could take over my place.
My office was abuzz with my latest transformation and many actually happy tengok my change as it was a signal that I was moving on with my life and putting my past behind. My Apek Boss also menitahkan rakyat jelata not to ask about my hubby passing, fearing that it will triggered my memory as he is happy that I am back as normal, chatting away, screaming, scolding and laughing loudly in the office. But not are all happy, we cant please eveyone can we? Some of the makcik bertudung said that since I tak habis edah, I should not be flaunting away with new clothes, makeup and whatknots. Wei, suka hatilah... it's my life - I cant be telling people how I feel, and who knows that my heart is screaming away? Well, I couldnt be bothered anyway.
Then comes December, and with the landslide situation, I stayed with a friend until early January as it is difficult to come in and out from the housing estate. Noon of 24th Dec, I received a bouquet of roses, with message " Sorry for your loss, I am still here, if you need me. En MHM Tel No: 03-27xxxxx". I really felt dizzy for awhile and lost for words, sat staring at the card with disbelief. It took me about 1 hour to have the courage to call him, but he wasnt there so I asked for his email address and wrote him an email thanking for the flowers and gave my cell phone no. Evening come, still no call, I dah gelabar nie.. camne? So I took the courage and call him, yes, he pick up the phone.
En MHM: Hello, XXXX, Processing.
I: Hi, I nie.
En MHM : Yeah, I tau, I still can recognize your voice, although tak dengar dah berkurun. He laughed. Are you Ok? Heard about the news. Sorry to hear about him.
I : Am doing well, tapi camne you tau about me? and we are neighbours tau. I know you keja sebelah tapi since dah 2 kali tukar name dont know whether you still here. Nak gak contact, tapi segan lah.
En MHM: I ada nampak you kat building you tapi pun I segan nak tegur, manalah tau, kot orang tak sudi. (eh, jiwang plak!) News travel lah, I met some old friends in Oct and entah camne cita pasal you timbul, it took me about a month lebih to take the courage to send you the flowers.
I: Thank you lah, tak sangka you ingat kat I. (tapi kembanglah hati akak!)
and so we chatted about 1 hour or so. He will be leaving for Bali for holiday on Christmas day until new year (his birthday in 1st Jan, by the way). We exchanged numbers and said our goodbyes. 2009 came, we are in constant contact through SMS and phone. He never fail to call me once a day, tapi both of us not ready to see each other. Tak tau camne nak react. He is my very first serious boyfriend since I was 16 years old and we parted when I was 19. I want to meet other fishes in the pond whilst he was seriously gila to tie the knot with me, tapi am not ready. Baru kerja, baru tengok dunia, nak gi disco dll perasaan lah. It took him about 3 years to recover from that frustration, decided that no girlfriend lagi and concentrate on football (at that time, he was in the Tiger Squad - under 23 boys groomed to be national footballers). To him, I was his chenta hati pertama and terakhir, and no one could take over my place.
Come February, cinta dah berbunga bunga, dah cakap windu winde, aduh, love is in the air, I feel like walking on cloud nine.. he hee.. best gak feeling cam nie. He is a very soft spoken man and very funny too, never fail to make me laugh with his stupid jokes. By Valentine day, he suddenly stop calling and SMS me. I was like, WTF? apa salahku? I sms him tapi tak jawab. Nak call dia, ego saya sebesar dunia so suffer in silence lah. Cam nak giler rasa cam tu, hari2 I nangis, kerja pun dah tak betul. I emailed him asking for explanation, pun tak gak reply. By mid March, I told myself, oklah, nothing happening here. How cruel he is to lambung my perasaan and just toss me aside without any notice. Go to hell la you, oh, balas dendam lah, fine by me. Boleh belah! Out of the blue, he call me one morning (my phone kat office ada caller ID, so I know he called) and I pick up the phone and this what transpired.
I: You apa hal? (dengan nada yang tinggi)
En MHM : Dah agak dah, mesti kena marah (dengan ketawa berdekah2)
I: Hey, this is not funny ok? Why you stop calling me so suddenly, dah giler ke you nie? (and entah apa apa lagi yang aku libas dia) and all the while, he just listen and all I could dengar is hhmmm, hmmm or chuckle here and there.
En MHM: Dah habis marah? Are you standing or duduk? You better sit down. First of all (dengan suara dia yang yang perlahan, romantik, cair akak) minta maaf dari hujung rambut ke hujung kaki buat you angin puting beliung nie. I had to make sure of my feelings for you and most importantly of all, your feelings for me. After so long, people change and I am not sure about you. As for me, I have not changed one bit. All these years, I always pray hard, with hope that I will meet you one day. No one else can take your place in my heart, you are my first love and how can I ever forget that? After we parted for 3 years, I suffered silently, stalking you in your office, even sitting in my car near your house sometimes morning, sometimes at night, waiting to catch a glimpse of you. ( he even mentioned what baju I wear, what car I drove, where I go - I was dumbfounded ok! - he further explained and explained, his voice ada calming effect, so I listen attentively, but still am angry on the testing water thingy)
Rest of the month, we continued chatted on the phone and SMS and am busy with the functions in the office. On the night of 1st April, I had an office function in Bukit Jalil and while busy working, I received a SMS on my phone from him nak jumpa malam tu. Alamak, dah malam cam nie, dengan makeup dah cair, and with my F1 uniform, rambut cam makcik, camne nak jumpa, tak glemer, malu je. So I said, tak payah lah, esok2 lah, penat. I reached home at about 11pm and baru nak lena at about 12midnite, he called and nak jumpa.. Hah? Memalam camnie? Tak naklah I said. He said he is already at my area. Oklah, hish, tension tau, camne nak jumpa? So we met at a nearby 24 hr restaurant at about 1am and talked and talked until 3am and the rest is history ladies & gentlemen.. hehehehe.
En MHM is a very calm and soft spoken man and he is still the same person as I had known him almost 29 years ago, no change at all, dislikes, likes. Muka pun tak berubah, cuma rambut dah pendek, crew cut and put on weight skit. As for me he said, that I changed a lot, pun dah put on weight (ha ha ha.. betut!), and perangai more aggressive, tapi membebel and suka marah2 masih tak bertukar, hallo, bang, love me as I am ok? He said, with me he can talk anything under the sun and enjoy my gilaness. He does not feel "old" with me as me and gang semua gila. He met almost all of my closest friends and mostly all approved of him except for 1 or 2. He also met some of my family members. It is my life, my happiness, so be it. All I want is to be happy, enjoy my life to the fullest. Oh and he looks after me very well and loves me very very much, making sure I am happy at all time, after all that happened to me. I told him everything, A to Z. He may not be rich but he is full of love and that is all that matters. Pray for my happiness... I know I am, everyday, without fail. Happily ever after....
Note: Sorry, banyak posting takde gambar, tak tau nak upload, hehhee.. masih baru blogging and still has a lot to learn, but am enjoying my self.
3 comments:
You wrote "...He is my very first serious boyfriend since I was 16 years old and we parted when I was 19".
Where did Aziz fit into all this ? Weren't you in that age bracket when I became the designated postman for that boy ?
Bzbody betul la ko nie. Si Aziz tu masa aku form 2/3, aku 13/14 yrs old. Tu monkey love, tak de pegang tangan, dating2... ngan MHM gi dating2 weekend, sambil2 gi tuition, jumpa kat leboh ampang.. sehinggalah aku kerja kat Sg Wang tu. Lama tu wooo... pergggg la lu.
Oh my dear...im feel happy for u...tumpang rasa gembira atas kebahagiaan you...everthing happens for a reason. gud luck.
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