AM LEAVING

ON A JET PLANE........

Road & Boat Trip to East Coast

I was "forced" by a friend to accompany her to take her diving licence in Pulau Perhentian in early March.

Our journey by road begins on a Thursday night at about 2 am. Two of her film industry friends are in the car with us since both of us do not know the direction. The journey was smooth : not many cars on the road and the road was pretty good. The two boys sat at the back and was yapping all the way with us plus one of them constantly talking on the phone with his girlfriend (an actress!). We got to hear the juicy conversation and I told him that if in Hollywood, I would have made plenty of money by selling the story to the tabloid. Hahahahahaa..

By 8am, we arrived in Besut (we took the long road, since both the boys slept all the way through!), had a breakfast and took the boat. The journey begins...

This is my 2nd trip on a boat on open sea. The sea was rough and at one point of time, I saw the wave was actually higher than the boat. I was frantic, keep on holding to the boat with all my life and the sea water splashed all over me. My friend keep looking at me, since she knows how drama queen I could be. Surprise, surprise, I survived.. About 1/2 hour battling the waves, we entered the calm water and I was overwhelmed by the beautiful colour of the sea and admiring God's creation around me.

We arrived the island safely at about noon and was given the key to our room. When we entered the room, we stood at the doorway and both of us looking at each other. The room was spartanly furnished, with one queen bed, a writing table. What? No TV? No aircond? No heater? How to survive? Hmmm.. a wrong start.. Never mind, we are hungry and head off to the coffee house. Oh, how cheap the food is and plenty of western food. Ok, not badlah, I thought to myself. After lunch ( a good one!) the diving lesson begins. My friend asked me again, whether I want to take the lessons, but I chicken out last minute. I agreed the night earlier.... she wasnt too happy.. hahahahaa. We extended our stay for 1 day since my friend wants to complete the course. She also chickened out but was coaxed to complete by the instructor. At the very last day, one actress also came with her boyfriend (sapa namanye, rahsia.. hehehe). We took the same boat to go to the dive site and she is a very nice person..

We left the island on Tuesday afternoon, waving goodbyes to the good island people and beautiful memories especially the instructor, who my friend said, had a crush on me.. very funny. By the time we reached KL it was 9pm, had dinner at our favourite stall and I was home by 11pm.

As I was unpacking my things, and putting away the soiled clothes in the washing machine, I couldnt help beaming to myself that I survived the rough sea, survived 5 days without TV and aircond, on and off boats to the dive sites accompanying my friend, made soooo many new friends, live in shorts & tee shirts, and most of all, I get to see the beautiful green & translucent water, sat on the white sandy beach alone while others went diving, survived without telephone since there is no maxis coverage on the island except at the edge of the beach. But most important of all, I get to think hard about my relationship with MHM and my new future. I did managed to called MHM but he wasnt thrilled to hear my voice (I later found out that he did not clearly hear my voice and there are so many people around him...). To that, I put my head to rest and off to slumberland...

Back to Civilisation..

Hola... I am finally back to civilisation after spending 6 days in Pulau Perhentian. Will blog the details soon...

Missed the island so much, although we lived spartanly for the whole 6 days. I am supposed to get my PADI licence but got chicken out the very last minute. I dont regret it as I make soo many new friends there, and they are all divers, young and old. Who says age is a hindrance to enjoy life.. For me, life just begins...

After driving for 9 hours straight, I need my beauty sleep now. Tomorrow is a bright new day! Whatever bad things happening around me or people badmouthing me (they've got nothing better else to do!) , I will keep on moving. As for MHM, I am keeping my options open.

This will be a productive week for me. And oh, I have passed my exam last week with flying colours and am so proud of myself! Hehehee

Good nite.

Exam Exam Exam

My exam is this Wednesday and what am I doing? I blame it on my friends for entertaining me a bit too much! Since last week, they took turns to take me out and last friday I did not go for my class but that is because there's no electricity in the area from 6pm until past midnight. I know the intention of my friends are good as they want to ensure that I am happy and not upset over the latest happening in my life.. Yeah, I really love them and appreciate them being at my side at any time of the day or night.. that kind of friends are hard to come by.

And today, I was out from afternoon and finally ended up watching Up in the Air at a cinema. Starting tomorrow, I will do my revision religiously... but still a small voice in my head keep asking, can I do it, can I pass the exam? Hey, go away lah you... I am being very positive here. I will pass my exam, I can do it, I will pass my exam, I can do it..... George Clooney, George Clooney... ooopssss.... psst psst.. George Clooney is so delicious.. how many man do you know looks so good at his age? But to me, MHM lagi hemsem.. hehehee.... ooohhh... I missed him sooo much... aarrghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Forgive & Forget?

Happy Sunday Afternoon....

After a scrumptiuos breakfast this morning, alone, mind you, I took time to blog hop. I came across this article from a newly found friend. She published some comments from her blog that to me are a bit too much. Why must people like to judge who we are based on our writings? Isnt this space is where you expressed yourself freely without being judged? If you dont like, why must you read the blog anyway? As for me, I dont frequent blogs that I dont like. I only read blogs that I enjoy especially reading based on the owner's everyday life (without the sumpah seranah or berlagak tayang bags, cars, etc!), recipes and tips on how to become a better person.

Before I start my blog pun, I am tired with all the gossips about me either in my office or in my family. But I dont give a damn! Some are true with a little add of spice here and there to make the story juicier and some are only hearsay. To me personally, you should be brave enough to ask me in face it it is true or not rather than just passing the gossip around town.

I am told by a good friend that I should just letgo, forgive and forget.... but can we? when what was circulated touches our dignity? Over time, I am beginning to learn to control my temper and hold back on words that cuts through your heart. Yes, it hurts soo much, especially when the person you trust with your life and love them dearly stab you behind your back and snub you but I always believe that what goes around comes around.

I can forgive but I cannot forget, afterall I am only human....

To Nani, just hang on there, you cant please everyone.

A New Beginning and a New Era..

Awaiting to enter a new phase in my life.... hoping for the best and hopefully my dream will become a reality...

Sick as a Cow!

Yup! Sick as a cow. My right hand is giving me the problem since last December and I really dont know what is wrong with it. The doctor said it is because my soft tissue has a tear due to heaving lifting. What heavy lifting? All I did was mopping, sweeping and a bit of dusting here and there. Could that be the problem? So that concludes that will not lift a finger to do housechores anymore. So, who gets to do it? A question remains unanswered.

Anyway, a good samaritan came by 2 weeks ago, decided to do a little bit of house cleaning while I lounged on the sofa and watched tv. Hahahaa... good for her. She has been nagging me to go to a hospital to have my hand checked but I just brushed her off. I told her that I will change my EPF nomination to her name if she continue to do the housechores every week for me but she dont find it funny though. Huh, party pooper!

This last weekend, she dragged me to sleep over at her house as she need help to pack as she is moving house in a few months time. Due to my inability to do anything heavy with my hand, so I only cut out the masking tape and make out the boxes for her. While she was busy packing her stuff away, I was under the cool aircond, sleeping away. Hahahaa... and she is definitely not happy about it. Too bad, I told her! By the time I woke up, she was also asleep on the floor amidst the boxes, masking tapes and her collection of jewelleries. It was indeed a funny sight!

By late evening, I took the pain reducing pills as I could not stand it any longer and drag my feet home. It was indeed painful driving and I tried not holding the steering too tightly on my right hand. It was a miracle as there was not many vehicles on the road and I reached home in a cool half an hour.

All the buzz about packing and moving also effected me and got me thinking. Should I move out too? Hmmm, something to ponder on for the next few weeks. But I already make a pact with me that if ever I move out, it must be to a better place!

Oucch.. typing this also hurts so much... aaarghhh... when can this go away?

Back to School

I am back to school! Yay! My first session started last Friday and it was fun walaupun agak lambat nak pick up compared to the rest of the class yang penuh dengan people who are much younger than me. Hahahaa...

Well, apapun, I am glad I joined as I have gained many new friends, but most important, I gained knowledge. Before the class started, as usual, they asked the newcomer to come upfront and introduce yourself. Akak walaupun boleh bercakap berkobar kobar, but ada stage fright yang amatz! When holding the mike, I was trembling, but the course leader was right beside me and she was constantly making eye contact with me as she knows I am nervous. It was the longest 10 mins of my life. But anyway, everyone made me feel welcome and we did a dance and some light exercise to break the ice. The next 2 hours flew like a breeze.

About 11pm, all of us went for supper and we talked and talked until about 1 am. By the time I reached home it was already 2am and I was dead tired. But before nodding off to sleep, I felt a deep satisfaction and am really glad that I took the first step. The rest they said is history.

NEVER STOP BELIEVING AND HANG ON TO THAT FEELING!

Do I Care? Nope!

Hmmm.... after a long silence, tada... I present an entry which is full of crap.. Now, why do I feel this way? Well, since this is my blog, my space, I get to say what I want. I am not angry, just disappointed with this person. and I want you to know that I dont care on what you think, you say, or what you have heard from a third party. You are entitled to your opinion. Since we are all adults, dont you think you should ask me whether what you heard are true???? But anyway, I just dont care! It has come to a stage that I get angry on the spot, say a few not nice things and pfff it gets blown away. You never learnt your lesson!

I just want to concentrate on rebuilding my life and I am at the starting mark. I just want to realize my dreams and all these people can just be gone from my life, whoever you are. Dont come calling on me coz I will not answer the door nor do I will pick up your calls. I dont want to do anything with you people anymore. Kapish?

There, I said it. Good nite.

My Secret Admirer

Hello.... Ive been feeling a bit under the weather lately, thus my absence from blogging. But once in a while, still bloghop to some of my fav pages and at the same time applying jobs on line.

MHM said that I need a job as it will keep my mind occupied. Since I have plenty of time, he said that I tend to think on unnecessary/unimportant/petty matters. Ya lah tu.

He is back last weekend after 2 weeks in his home town minding his sick mom. Ya, he is a anak yang soleh, bertuah saya. Whilst there, he texted me daily, worrying whether I makan or not, cukup duit ke tidak, sakit ke.. etc etc, but walau susah macam mana pun, I always replied him, I am aok coz taknak burden him unnecessarily.

Ok, back to the subject of the day.... this past few days, tak tahu kenapa, I selalu mimpi this cousin of mine. Masa kecil kecil dulu, as I remembered, his mother selalu sound kat my mom to jodohkan we all, but being my mom, she laughed it off.

Anyway, since last Wed, I have been receiving calls from this unknown number and I did not pick it up. I thought, if employer nak panggil for interview ke or whatknots mesti tinggal message kan? So I let it be. Last night pun sama. The same number called. MHM ada with me and he said ignore it. Oklah, let it be. This morning an office number called so I pick it up lah, thinking kot ada orang nak panggil moi kerja.. TAPI.... jeng jeng jeng... cousin yang ku mimpi itu telefon! Ha, terkedu akak... he asked how am I and bla bla bla lah, tapi motifnye? nak bawa saya makan malam.. hahahaha... I think when he said that, I was speechless for few seconds!!! Apa hal mamat nie? But I brushed him off nicely, saying that I am not well and need my rest.. tapi I know this is not the end... hhmmmm...

Kalau lah MHM tau about this, mau hangin satu badan pakcik coz he pre-warned me that he will stop at nothing to ensure that our relationship works this time round.

Tapi apa apa pun, akak dah golek golek gelak sampai nak pengsan! Am recovering from fever, flu with body aches.. taking my medicine and tido sampai lebam~!

Letter to You

Kehadapan MHM yang dikasihi,

Apa khabar kanda disana? Harap kanda bergembira disamping bonda tercinta dan menjaga bonda kanda yang sakit dengan sempurna.

Adinda disini sihat sihat belaka. Jangan risau tentang makan & minum dinda, kawan dinda menjaga dinda dengan sempurna dan anakanda dinda pun tak lupa menelefon dinda hari hari untuk bertanyakan khabar dinda, walaupun sebenarnya anakanda itu sebenarnya mahu tahu kegiatan dinda.

Raya Korban tahun ini dinda beraya di rumah ibu angkat dinda di Damansara dan dinda tak lupa juga untuk memasak serba sedikit, tapi oleh kerana dinda tamak haloba, makan tak ingat dunia, maka dinda telah sakit perut dan telah pun berjumpa doktor. Tetapi setelah agak baik sedikit, dinda juga telah menapak ke pusat membeli belah dan untuk menghilangkan gundah gulana, telah juga menonton wayang gambar.

Semalam, dinda menemankan kawan dinda pergi ke mahkamah kerana adiknya telah membuat satu kesalahan dan dinda dapat mengembangkan minda dan belajar dari pengalaman itu. Satu pengajaran juga untuk dinda.

Sekian lah buat kali ini. Janganlah kanda terburu buru mahu pulang ke KL. Dinda selamat sejahtera disini.

Terima kasih.

Another Emotional Day ...

Nothing much to update. Again, while bloghopping, came across this phrase.

Quote:

"Apabila engkau tidak dapat melihat kepada masa depanmu.kerana masa depanmu itu masih gelap,dan engkau tidak pula dapat menoleh kepada masamu yang telah tinggal di belakang kerana semuanya peristiwa yang pahit dan getir,maka cubalah angkat kepalamu ke atas,nanti engkau akan beroleh istirehat dan ketenangan..." Unquote.

Yeap, gonna do that... in the meantime, the river flows again, and it's raining out there. Not helping :(

Why Emotional?

Dah lama tak update blog sebab tak tau nak tulis apa. There are a lot of things in my mind but everytime when I sat in front of the computer, I just sat there and not able to compose anything. I think this is what they called writer's block.. hahhaaa.. Anyway, these few days I am feeling very down, dont know why, and not helping though, when I surfed the internet, I chance upon a blog and upon reading it make me cried non stop. There a lot of stuff in there that hit the spot. The blog owner really write deep down from her heart and I really envy how she writes.

Quoting her :

Bagi yang sudah tercebur ke alam rumahtangga bersama pasangan yang tidak seperti di harapkan. Kesabaran dan daya ketahanan perlu ada. Insyallah asalkan anda kuat bertahan, itulah jodoh anda sampai mati.

Bukankah kita berhak untuk menikmati kebahagiaan hidup yang sebentar ini di atas mukabumi ciptaan Allah ini? Jadi mengapa harus kita bebankan hidup berhadapan dengan pasangan yang menyakitkan jiwa dan perasaan. Carilah kebahagiaan itu. Dia pasti ada untuk kita.

Well, there, isnt that beautiful? I rest my case.

Goodnite.

Dimanakah Anda

Halloooooooooooooooooooooo..... semalam call tak jawab. Return call pun tidah. Comment kat page pun tidak. Where are you ooooo my stalker???

Adakah phone anda silent mode? Adakah anda tengok wayang dengan chentamu?

Wei...... call la...

Hari Ini Hari Sabtu

Hari Sabtu. Nak buat apa ya? Hmmm.. En MHM kata nak bawa saya round round jalan2 makan angin sambil cari makan. Ini mesti rasa guilty karana sudah 3 hujung minggu yang berturut2 tidak meluangkan masa bersama saya. Arrggghhh.... dan pagi2 lagi, kakak saya dah telefon nak datang melawat saya. Apa motif? saya pun tak tau. Nak kata datang hari raya, raya baru je lepas. Oh.... tidak! Jadi haruskah saya menghilangkan diri pada hari ini? Nampak gayanye, niat murni saya untuk lipat baju, gosok, baju & gantung baju itu rasanya akan terbengkalai buat masa kini. Tapi, apa kata saya upah kakak saya itu untuk melipat & menggosok baju saya? Kah, kah , kah. Ya, betul tuan2 & puan2 semua, saya sememangnye bukan calon suri rumahtangga yang mithali.

Take it or leave it.

Saya terpaksa meyapu & mengemob lantai... aduhhhhh

Friends from Secondary School

I received a friend's request from FB today and realised it is from a friend way back from my secondary school. She must have google my name and found out I am on FB and send the request. I have not decided whether to approve her request sebab:

1. Masa kat sekolah, I am not close to her, bukan class mate pun, jumpa pun just smile to each other
2. After school pun we never met or keep in contact

so what the hell does she wants to be in contact with me now? I actually kepochi and masuk to see her profile and sungguh tak ku sangka she put dengan penuhnye occupation dia. Kalau I lah, I letak nama company aje lah, tak payahlah nak tayang gelaran2 ko tu. Jeles ke aku ni? Oh tidak, tak mungkin. Masih, tak puas hati gi, I masuk plak jenguk her friends list, oh, banyaklah kengkawan sama kelas ngan dia. Bukanlah nak menuduh sembarangan, tapi apakah motifnye nak add aku??? Kalau dulu, kita bertepuk tampar dan sama sama menggeletis tu, ok lah juga. Ni nak bercakap 1 line satu hari pun takde masa kat sekolah.

Kemudian, perasaan jahat pun menyelinap lah kesegenap hati ku ini. Ini mesti geng2 yang suka compare, ko sekarang keja apa, pangkat ko apa, gaji ko berapa, laki ko kerja apa, laki ko sayang ko tak, ko kurus ke dah gemuk, anak dah berapa, anak sekolah kat mana, ko pakai keta apa, rumah dah berape biji, handbag LV, Coach ada berapa, gi holiday kat mana, kan, kan, kan? He he he.... Saya tak bermaksud untuk menyakiti hati sesiapa ya, jangan ambil hati.

Jadi kesimpulannya, saya belum nak approve dia lagi atau patutkah saya ignore request itu? Tak apa, buat farming, bagi makan ikan, masak kat cafe dulu, pas tu baru decide.

Nite nite & ta ta

Makan Tengahari Hari

Hari ini saya makan asam pedas kepala ikan tenggiri, daging kicap, ulam petai, sambal belacan dan sayur campur. Yum yum yum.. Gambar akan menyusul kemudian ya. Just found this quaint restaurant, De Lazat di Ukay Perdana that serves nasi campur. Kopinye pun kaw, so tak yah la gi cari tempat lain untuk minum kopi. Yalah, kang makcik tu meroyan, tak dapat kopi kaw. Murah plak tu, lunch for 2 of us plus drinks hanya lah RM11.80. Yang penting, tempat tu bersih, tak ramai orang dan tukang masak & pekerja semua melayu dan bukan Indon.

Tapi yang tak sedapnye ada seorang kakak ke entah makcik ke yang asyik merenung aku & kawanku ambil makanan dan kitaorang makan. Nak je aku tanya apa masalah dia merenung kitaorang. Kawanku yang boleh tahan gak angin kus2nye pun dah nak mula naik angin. Tetapi oleh kerana kitaorang kelaparan yang teramat, forget it lah. Tapi, sempat amik gambar dia. Hambek ko. Ha ha ha.. Nanti kan ku upload.

Next stop, Jaya Jusco kat AU2 untuk sesi berjalan jalan makan angin. Terbeli gak barang2 ntah hapa2. Makcik plak sibuk beli barang2 untuk membuat hamper, bisnes sambilan hidup segan mati tak mahunye itu. Suka2 mak bapak dia je nak buat bisnes tu. Oleh kerana hujan yang lebat di luar sana dan saya dengan bangganye terlupa tutup tingkap teratakku, maka bergegaslah kitaorang keluar dari Jaya Jusco itu. Jika tidak, mungkin kitaorang akan terbabas masuk kat karaoke plak.

Sekian aktiviti saya yang boring buat hari ini. Bagaimanakah hari anda?

Sound of Music

I got an invitation to go to a "jamming" session kat one pub in Hartamas tonite. A friend's relative is performing and we get VVIP seats. Disebabkan malam ini En MHM promised to take me out for my proper birthday dinner, so nampak gayanye tak boleh la pergi. I texted him yesterday about this invitation and he asked lotsa questions about the music. So, I said, janganlah mimpi nak dengar lagu J. Mizan, Black Dog Bone atau yang seangkatan dengannye, be prepared to dengar dorang main music je lah. So, memang tak dapat pergi lah jamming session tu nampak gayanye.... Sebenor2nye, kitaorang selalu pergi tu jamu mata aje, bukannye nak dengar dorang main musik. Lagu dorang main pun entah hapa2. Kitaorang nie ikut je hangguk2 kepala & goyang badan.. Kira cam join the crowd la.

Soweeeyyy lah ya Cik AVP, aku tak dapat join ko sebab En MHM nye telinga bukan dengar musik cam tu. Ko gi lah duduk kat situ sensorang, jamu mata kat drummer mat salleh botak yang hensem tu and minum air colgate. Kirim salam kat dia for me. As for me, aku jamu mata locally je lah.

Kenapalah aku bukan Domestic Goddess?

Hari ini hari yang malas bagi saya. Malas mandi, malas nak keluar, malas makan dan malas yang paling dahsyat sekali ialah .......... malas nak lipat baju. Kesemua baju2 saya, dilonggokkan diatas katil and atas ironing board. Tiap2 kali masuk bilik tu, sakit je mata tengok camtu, tapi perasaan malas mengatasi segala2nye. Lipat & iron baju adalah perkara yang paling dimencik dalam dunia ini.

Errr, camne nie? Apakah cara nak motivate diri ini? En MHM pernah opper nak lipat tapi saya dengan sombongnye kata tak payahlah, kan sendiri dah susah? Saya pernah ketawakan dia, sebab tak boleh bayangkan, dia duduk bersila dengan sebumbung baju2 itu untuk dilipat atau digantung. Bila lalu kat bilik tu, I just jeling2 je kat baju tu, buat2 tak nampak. Tak nampak tak sakit hati kan? So, untuk hari sabtu & ahad ini saya akan berazam untuk meng"clear"kan baju2 itu.

Morale of the story ialah, saya bukan Domestic Goddess. Kenapa yek?

Pakcik Oh Pakcik

Wednesday evening, I had dinner with a friend in Ampang Jaya, our favourite stall. I makan nasi goreng kampung, she had nasi lemak bungkus, both of us shared beef satay. Sambil makan2, kita borak2 kosong, cerita pasal ekonomi, pasal nak kaya dan mengata orang sekeliling (nie biasa lah, busybody kan).

Then, I ternampaklah satu pakcik nie, I used to see him makan kat stall satay tu, kalau I sampai dalam pukol 8-9pm. He is very old, skinny, pakai jubah putih and he will sit quietely near the satay seller, eat his nasi himpit and kuah kacang + teh o. I told my friend, selalu nampak pakcik nie kat sini, siapalah punya bapak or atuk nie. Again, being busybody, I decided to asked the Indon boy yang keja kat stall tu. He explained that the pakcik will come almost everyday kat situ, eat the same thing and will sit at the same spot. His drinks sudah dibayar by one kind hearted lady, so orang tua ni order sahaja and the lady will pay his drinks charges on a weekly basis in advance. Baik kan akak tu, tapi tak tau sapa. Nak pecah hati both us, sedih melihatkan orang tua ni.

After dinner, I decided to buy my ciggy and walked up to the 7-11 across the road. Masa nak bayar, pakcik tu pun ada kat 7-11 and he bought 2 small packets of biscuits. I thought of doing khidmat masyarakat and nak bayar his biscuits tapi pakcik tu dah keluar duit kat cashier. He made some small talk to the cashier and I just smiled at him, again, nak rabak hatiku tengok pakcik ni. So, habislah hasrat murni saya yang mulia ini. At the time, my friend ada kat pintu waiting for me. Masa nak keluar tu, I keluar dulu and my friend is right behind me. My friend, being a kind hearted girl, pun bukak lah pintu for me, and right behind me is the pakcik. So, dah keluar from 7-11, I turned and waited for her as she held the door for pakcik to come out. He suddenly stop, at the doorway, looked at my friend, looked at me and asked me, while pointing at my friend, anak ke. I froze for a while, smile dengan keterpaksaan, taklah, kitaorang adik beradik, I lied. He smile and went on his way.

My friend, stood there laughing non stop and said, eish, aku anak ko lah, hina tak ko kak? Dengan senyum dalam kelat (hati dah rasa cam nan nangis, sedey!), penat je aku kesiankan pakcik nie tadi, dah dihinanye aku. She? well she sat in the car, laughing and gloating all the way back to her house. Wuaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Ok, time to go brisk walking and next time, conpirm keluar tak pakai cincai lagi.

Note: masih bersedih dan dah start buat brisk walking kat umah...., tapi tak tau last sampai bila